Ariana Grande Says Grieving Mac Miller Is ‘All-Consuming’

Ariana Grande says her grief over her late ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, has been a “pretty all-consuming” experience. The 26-year-old singer discussed her challenging relationship with Miller and the rapper’s ultimate death at age 26 in September in the August issue of Vogue.

Grande and Miller split in May 2018 after two years of dating; Grande said she spent years worrying about and trying to help Miller, who struggled with substance abuse issues. Miller ultimately died of an accidental drug overdose.

“By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f*ck. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had,” Grande said. “I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming… less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”

“I was researching healing and PTSD and…and everyone was like, ‘You need…a schedule,’” Ariana tells Vogue. “Of course, because I’m an extremist, I’m like, ‘O.K., I’ll go on tour!’ But it’s hard to sing songs that are about wounds that are so fresh.”

“It’s fun, it’s pop music, and I’m not trying to make it sound like anything that it’s not,” she adds. “But these songs to me really do represent some heavy s**t.”

After Miller died, Ariana made her Thank U, Next album, but she admits to Vogue, “I don’t remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad.”

The August issue of Vogue hits newsstands July 23rd. The magazine also posted Ariana’s new video for “In My Head” online.