In her new autobiographical book More Myself, Alicia Keys admitted that she contemplated abortion when she got pregnant with her second child in 2014. The singer found out that she was four months pregnant while she was finalizing her sixth album, Here.
She wrote, “I wasn’t ready for this, which is what I told the doctor. ‘This is the worst time ever. I’m working on my next album. My husband just got into Harvard Business School. And I’ve been drinking—a lot.’ I left her office feeling so torn.”
She continued, “The music I was creating felt more important and urgent than just about everything. I’d have to put off its release for at least a year if I chose to have the baby.” Alicia revealed that she decided to have her child after she listened to a song she wrote with husband Swizz Beatz called “More Than We Know,” which is about being capable of more than we could imagine.
She wrote, “For me, the song was a powerful message that I should go on with the pregnancy.”
Alicia and Swizz welcomed son Genesis in December 2014.
ALICIA KEYS OPENS UP ABOUT FINDING HERSELF: ‘I’VE BEEN PUTTING ON A MASK
Alicia also talked about years of living inauthentically. She said, “I was building my life around this image of perfection, and it was really oppressive. I was clearly a woman who wanted to talk about truth and empowerment and strength, but when I really looked at myself, I realized that my whole life I’ve kind of been putting on a mask.”
She continued, “I wasn’t fake, but I was trying to live up to all these fake ideals. It was like a habit. I had to start to break it. I feel more like an open book. That’s a beautiful thing.”
She also talked about the absence of her dad Craig Cook, saying, “For me, a seed of worthlessness was planted in childhood. As well-intentioned as Craig was, and as much as he was dealing with in his own life, his absence impacted me in ways I’m still uncovering. It left a hole in me.”